Embrace life’s ups and downs this World Mental Health Day

When I talk to people about mental health now, I am always struck by how often they think it’s something that is fixed: you either ‘have it’ or you ‘don’t’.

But mental health isn’t binary. It’s not only about whether you have a diagnosis or not; it is something that ebbs and flows.

The reality is that we need to look after our mental health just like we would care for our bodies.

‘Self-care doesn’t mean bubble baths and scented candles’

Yetunde Bankole, Vitality’s Head of Mental Health & Wellbeing

Working as a mental health nurse across various settings and seeing how disabling mental ill health can be has stayed with me.

It’s a reminder that just because we can’t see our mental health it, it doesn’t mean it isn’t real, or life-altering.

World Mental Health Day is an international day for everyone to come together (on 10th October) and raise the awareness of – not just mental illness – but how to stay well and the recovery processes.

So much progress has been made in destigmatizing mental ill-health, but we still have a long way to go in understanding (and recognising) its complexities.

Connect to your inner self

More and more, what we are learning about mental health is that it’s a) complex and b) very individual.

Teaching people self-awareness and their own stress responses, how to check in with themselves and how to build healthy routines that support their wellbeing is one of the major steps in helping people stay mentally well.

Our stress ‘containers’ – a metaphorical visualisation of our stress levels – are completely different from person to person and this ultimately impacts how much we are able to cope with what life throws our way; but also, in the way in which we deal with it.

Why? For a number of reasons: genetics, childhood experiences, learnt behaviour, whether or not we learn the tools as children, all of which play a role in our individual resilience and the size of our stress ‘container’.

Running or physical activity may be the answer for one person to help them cope with their mental health symptoms, but it might not be for another.

Instead, they may need to talk to someone, to learn more about the tools they need in order to cope in a particular situation.

Others may feel that they need to eat more healthily to improve their mental wellbeing. We know that mental health and the foods that we eat are intrinsically linked.

The important thing is to recognise your individual needs; that is creating your own self-awareness and it’s empowering because different things will work for different people, as long as they are healthy coping strategies we can see the benefits.

Read about the types of therapy that could help you: 7 types of therapy and how they could help you | Magazine | Vitality

Learn to put yourself first

Self-care doesn’t mean bubble baths and scented candles; well actually it can. For me, though, self-care is not an indulgent, it’s a survival tool.

Those acts of self-care don’t have to be ostentatious but it’s also okay if they are accessible and it helps that person.

In fact, they often are the smallest things. For me, I set alarms on my phone, not just to wake up, but to check in with myself. I rename them as affirmations or as a reminder to ‘Breathe’ or ‘Pause’.

Just like I would a meeting, I schedule check-ins with myself, and I encourage others around me to do the same. It’s about being deliberate in taking the time to do something that supports you.

‘We all have mental health just like we all have physical health’

Yetunde Bankole, Vitality’s Head of Mental Health & Wellbeing

Or repurposing the time you have or spend doing certain activities.

Hamster-wheeling our way through life can mean we don’t stop and give ourselves the permission to think for a moment and that’s when we lose connection with our minds and bodies, which is so important for our overall holistic wellbeing.

Reframing the everyday to an act of self-care is a powerful shift for our mental health. Do you enjoy your morning coffee? That’s self-care.

Taking your medication on time, yes, that’s self-care. Gratitude doesn’t have to be grand. It just has to be real.

That being said, routine must be balanced with adventure; doing something out of the ordinary or the things that bring you joy is all part of the excitement for a fulfilling and happy life.

Why not try this guided breathing for beginners with yoga and meditation coach, Milly Harrison.

Remember the importance of rest

Our hyper-connected world does make rest a luxury. Constant stimulation from emails, notifications, deadlines, I’m sure your list goes on. We also live in a world that glorifies productivity.

We’re told to hustle, grind, be ‘on’, be the best version of yourself at every opportunity. Our brains also need rest and it can be counterproductive in achieving our goals.

When you’re resting on the sofa, is your mind actually resting? Or are you thinking about all of the things you should have done, are going to do later or wish that you’d done?

Switching our minds off gives us the space to be creative, gain clarity and heal.

I have some of my best ideas when I’m walking to the gym, not even thinking about work. Our brains are always solving problems in the background.

We just have to give it the space. So, resting is not being lazy, it’s essential.

Resting mentally could be reading, journalling, sitting, going for a walk or run, or doing the ironing. The key is not to do nothing, but about doing something that allows your mind to breathe.

Check in with your mental health every day

Rising cases of mental ill-health is a human issue. We all have mental health, just like we all have physical health.

But the important thing to know is that we are all capable of learning, growing and supporting one another.

Beyond this World Mental Health Day, I urge you to go take a step further than raising awareness. Build your own self-awareness.

Practice rest and self-care and – most importantly – looking after your wellbeing means looking after your mental health too.

Related: 10 of your biggest mental health questions answered