How healthy is our relationship with food?

Few things can come between people and their food. In Britain, we are a nation of foodies.

The majority of us (82%), a YouGov survey found, pay special attention to the foods we consume. In fact, we love our food so much that 40% of us wouldn‘t share it with a friend.

But whether or not you’re the sharing type, the relationship we have with our food has an impact on our overall health, from nourishing our brain to helping to fend of illnesses.

Here, we ask experts about the foods that we need to not just survive, but help us thrive. The good news? Almost everything’s on the menu.

Give yourself full permission

Traditionally, with any relationship, there’s an element of give and take, but perhaps surprisingly that doesn’t have to apply to our one with food, experts believe.

“You should have unconditional permission to eat all foods,” says Dr James Hudson, a Registered Sports and Exercise Nutritionist.

“A good relationship with food relies on you not feeling pressure to eat a certain way with no feelings of shame or guilt and feeling good physically and mentally for having those choices in your diet – that is the ultimate goal that we are looking for,” he explains.

Putting too much weight behind restrictions to food groups can stir up unhealthy associations with food, Hudson warns.

An obsession with foods that are ‘pure’ or ‘impure’ (from a nutritional point of view) is something James describes as a “red flag” when it comes to forming healthy habits.

This fascination with eating only food containing ingredients considered ‘clean’ – a word he’s keen to avoid – makes people more likely to go between restrictive and binge cycles, he says, and for some this can also lead to an unhealthy relationship with exercise.

“Give our systems what they evolved to use”

Dr Julia Jones, neuroscientist and founder of health solution platform Holidity

The minds at Vitality partner and holistic nutrition app, Second Nature, are also wary of cutting things out completely.

“Diets often involve rigid rules and restrictions that are unsustainable and unrealistic, therefore making us feel like we're to blame when we inevitably ‘fail’ them,” Rosie Carr, Head of Health Coaching at Second Nature, says.

“They can also reinforce the idea that certain foods are ‘bad’ which can increase our worry and feelings towards eating them,” she adds.

“The truth is that all foods can have a place in our diet, and no foods should be off limits. Learning to accept this and enjoy foods mindfully and in moderation can be key to a healthy relationship with food and in turn, a healthy lifestyle.”

‘It’s ok to slip up’

Carr also acknowledges the importance of being ok if you do have a ‘slip up’. “Don’t let that ruin the rest of the week, accept it, learn from it and move on positively,” she says.

Dr Julia Jones, a neuroscientist and founder of health solution platform Holidity, meanwhile, has the view that healthy approaches, which take no or very little effort, are more likely to be sustained over a lifetime.

“Instead, we can look at our daily habits and simply fine tune them a little, so they more closely align with our evolutionary biological circuits,” she says.

The ultra-processed problem

While it’s important not to become too obsessive about the food we do or don’t eat, Julia believes it’s still worth being aware of what we consume, especially when it comes to ultra-processed foods (UPFs).

These are foods that typically have five or more ingredients, including additives and ingredients that you wouldn’t hope to find in your everyday kitchen cupboard.

They are also highly convenient, such as fried snacks, processed meats and cakes – even some breakfast cereals with added sweeteners.

“The truth is that all foods can have a place in our diet”

Rosie Carr, Head of Health Coaching at Second Nature

“Kicking off our eating day with sugar is not a good idea,” explains Jones. Sadly, this is often something people do at breakfast – either through concentrated fruit juice or white bread, sugary spreads and sugary cereals.

“At that time of day, with nothing else in the digestive system to slow the absorption rate into the blood stream, this can trigger the types of blood glucose spikes and insulin responses we now know we should be avoiding.”

Instead, Hudson recommends a course of protein (such as oily fish, eggs, avocados, yogurt) in the mornings, as it has been found to manage appetite later in the day. “Eating protein-rich foods at breakfast is going to have a knock-on effect on the choices we make later in the day,” he points out.

Another big contributor to managing appetite is fibre, Hudson adds, which helps us avoid UPFs. “Whole pieces of fruits and veg can also be included to maximise this satisfaction of our hunger for prolonged periods,” he adds.

The caveat, according to Jones, is that we are too biologically different to give a definitive ’one-size-fits-all’ solution when it comes to what we eat. But she does recommend going back to look forward when it comes to our diet.

“Give our systems what they evolved to use,” she urges. That includes natural whole foods, as many different types of plants as possible, sufficient protein and plenty of water. “Try to make ultra-processed foods treats not habits,” she concludes.

Related: Ultra-processed foods: Are they really that bad for your health?